-The Bill of Non-Rights.

Posted: December 2, 2009 in Articles, Timeless

EDIT: I decided to edit some of this. Originally I decided to post it as written by the author where I found it, but there’s some things in it that annoy me in the original piece.

“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines….

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are so confused by the Bill of Rights that they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.  Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.  If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly….) NOW..

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution.

ARTICLE XII: You do not have the right to harm the rights or property of others. The freedom to exploit others freedoms is uncivilized. Therefore, you don’t have the right to the work of others.

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Comments
  1. Keith says:

    “So Mote It Be.”

  2. Anita says:

    “You do not have the right to free health care.”

    Thank you for clearing this up for me. These past few months, I have heard and read so many US citizens express that they have this “right” to either “good” (or free) health care, that I was actually beginning to wonder if that was indeed in the Bill of Rights and when that legislation was passed. I never got around to researching it, but you’ve saved me the time.
    Too bad that these very same people do not realize that they do, however, have the right to privacy, but that they have given that right away through their passivity when the FISA and the Patriot Acts were created and endorsed by Bush and Obama.
    With Obama, the people fervently and foolishly worked to elect the other side of the same coin. When will they realize that the government is not their mother or father, and is not looking out for their best interests? Those days are over folks, if those days ever existed to begin with.

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