*Killing Obama: Perhaps the U.S. should bomb itself.

Posted: October 27, 2008 in 2008, Exclusives
Tags: ,

Ignorance Is Futile:

Begin irresistible satire:

Today’s news includes a supposed Obama assassination plot by 2 right-wing skinheads. The ‘plot’ included killing some 88 people, and beheading 14 of them. In ‘our’ crazy U.S. worldview, these must be terrorists, meaning there is a terrorist minority and therefore ‘we’ should bomb ‘ourselves’. This should also include others states such as Israel and wherever else extremist minorities within the dominant race can be found scattered loosely within the population.

The logic is simple, albeit insane. In fact, following the logic guiding U.S. foreign policy, we should bomb ourselves simply because there might be people that might conduct ‘terrorist’ attacks. There’s a vast score of the populace out there of Christian Zionists and ‘super-patriot’ racists who endorse a genocidal policy towards Muslims. There’s untold numbers of ultraconservative skinheads and others who might attack the local Black church house, as they’re fueled by a totalitarian ideology of hate. A bomb-wielding terrorist may lurk around the corner at your neighborhood abortion clinic. Environmentalist Democrats and Hippies could be spiking the trees in the local forest to dissuade lumberjacks with chainsaws. Some analysts estimate that 50% of the population could be bleeding heart Liberals. Last but not least, teenage high-schoolers might conspire a mass shooting at school, and the media and others indoctrinated into the all-threats-are-terrorists mindset might declare it terrorism.

Considering how BushCo. has been actively funding Islamic terrorists within Iran to overthrow their government, Bush and Cheney should, after issuing the full scale U.S. self-attack doctrine, of course, shoot themselves. If you look in the mirror while you do it it should make sense.

D.C. should be first on the list for U.S. aircraft carriers to launch their strikes. Aircraft carrier group commanders were unavailable for comment, as they’re all currently forward deployed ‘defending’ the U.S. mainland by patrolling the seas elsewhere around the globe. Jane’s Offense Quarterly suggested they could all meet and duke it out to the finish in the high seas, with the last ship standing getting the prize of retribution of launching full scale attacks on the domestic terrorists. A senior BushCo. official optimistically estimated that cluster bombings could result in 2 dead terrorists per housing project.

Then the military needs to attack its own installations. There’s no telling where the disparate shadowy terrorists might be hiding. The National Guard and domestic police forces will be working 24 hour shifts as they attack the citizenry, each other and themselves. A careful and comprehensive strategy must be drawn up to ensure that all of the potential terrorists are killed before their scorched-earth campaigns leave themselves dead and captured.

But what should you do while waiting for the Fed’s to street sweep and carpet bomb through your neighborhood? Immediately look outside in ones own bushes to be sure they’re not digging caves in your own backyard. Reinforce your doors and cover your windows with duct tape and tarps. Next set up surveillance cameras pointing out into your neighbors yards and into their windows. Build home made linesman’s phone receivers and climb your local telephone poles to gather intel on your local phones comms. Deploy 2 liter bombs in your own mailbox if you can’t find any solid leads on your neighbors. Since the U.S. government sponsors global terrorism, your own local mailman might be suspect, and they show up at your house. Prior reason aside, he might deliver an anthrax laced letter or mailbomb, which would obviously ‘connect’ him to terrorists. After you’ve covered all possible ends, take your own life, because one day you might become a terrorist too. Your reading of this might have you already on a terrorist watch list, so maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll do it for you.

Perhaps first the death squads should come to my house with Raptor jets and Stealth Bombers overhead. After all, one mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter. My writing of a satire article that talks about self-destruction including bombings and killings could clearly be considered unpatriotic. I can handle that, just so long as the Raptors shoot each other down and the Stealth Bombers crash into each other afterward.

And while we all untimely detonate in anti-terrorist fervor, other nations should do the same. Take Israel, there are Zionist Jews who call for genocidal extermination of all Muslims. Rumor has it that the U.K. is already killing IRA freedom fighters, but it may prove difficult for convince the Royal Family to self-assassinate. Many other nations will be easy, as apparently many Islamic and even Hindu nations are already engaged in self-termination.

Welcome to Crazy World, but the irony is that even without such extreme self-inflicted pre-emptive warfare actions, we’re already in it as is. If only we could figure out how to bomb fear itself, but the only real way to do that is outlined above.

  1. You seem to imply there is something wrong if a babykilling abortion mill is burned or bomb. Which do you prefer, a pile of bricks or a pile of dead babies? Innocent unborn babies deserve to be protected just as born children deserve to be protected. You would have no problem protecting born children if they were about to be murdered.
    SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

  2. dad2059 says:

    You seem to imply there is something wrong if a babykilling abortion mill is burned or bomb. Which do you prefer, a pile of bricks or a pile of dead babies? Innocent unborn babies deserve to be protected just as born children deserve to be protected.

    Wow Rev, your Jeezus sanctions “turrism?”

    Don’t say that too loud, the Raptors will be taking you to your Rapture quicker than you expect!

    IIF, how would this guy fit in with the Google-Plex Panopticon Singularity?

    It depends how much blood this “god” demands I suppose.

  3. sara says:

    didn’t like the abortion mill reference either…to bomb a “clinic” is obviously wrong but i’d be the last person to turn in such a perpetrator should i see him/her on the street~ blowing iraqis to bits is no different than these evil ~doctors~ ripping children from limb to limb.

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