*The United States of Iran: A Reversology

Posted: August 19, 2008 in Exclusives
Tags: , , , , ,

*The United States of Iran:
A Reversology

By IgnoranceIsntBliss

NOTE: Most of these images probably need to be clicked on, and this story can’t really be told without them.

This is a little perspective into the Iran war situation that is sure to be a big fuss after Iran’s Presidents badly worded remarks the other day. Pretty stupid if you ask me because normally he has it by the balls being the weaker nation that is threatened by invasion from imperial America.

In any case I’d still like to give everyone a little satire and a perspective of what must be going through the minds of the Iranians in light of the American threat. Sorry pro-war people, but Iran isn’t going to invade US or nuke us ‘just because’.

“…but no matter how you slice it (German Nazism, Italian Fascism & “Divine” Imperial Japan), it was just plain old militaristic imperialism.” – The United States Military, in the WW2 prpaganda film, “Why We Fight” Part 1 : Prelude To War.

Our Declaration of Independence would have been on February 1, 1979, after we retook our government from Iran. Before this, in 1953, they had overthrown our democratically elected leadership to install a repressive regime (admittedly to control our vast oil fields).

We eventually seized their embassy here in our country because it was an Iranian intelligence command center and because we were still upset after they had enslaved us with imperial force for almost 20 years. This would have given the Iranian government plenty of polarizing propaganda because the Iranian public wouldn’t have known of the real nature of the relations between their country and ours. Instead, all they’d know is that some crazy looking Christian guy over here started some Christian revolution and then took their guys hostage. That would polarize them for decades just so long as the masses never realized what the affair was really about. (Iranian Hostage Crisis)

We would have an extra sort of resentment because Iran would be a full blown empire-state, bent on global domination, who had been using underhand tricks and military force when needed to control half of the nations on our side of the hemisphere. To add insult to injury, those countries were all Christian while they were Muslims who were trying to convert us. This would further polarize us into our ‘national religion’ and would have masses of us in an uproar that the Iranians would refer to us crazy extremist terrorists. (American Imperialism)

We would have an extra sore spot when thinking of Iran for the audacity of helping to influence (a Canadian) Saddam Hussein, after putting him in power, and then helping to build his chemical and biological weapons programs so that they could help him maim and gas to kill some 500,000 of our people in a 10-year war. (Iran-Iraq War)

Shortly thereafter, we would have seen further evidence of Iran’s imperial posture after watching them tell the ‘Canadian Saddam‘ that they wouldn’t intervene if he invaded his oil rich neighbor and then invaded him after he did. Not before they fabricated an emotional account of ‘Canadian‘ forces throwing babies out of incubators to rally the Iranian people to gain support for the war. (Kuwaiti Incubator Babies Hoax)

As the rest of the world, we’d be anxiously watching Iran build their “New World Order” (as their president in 1990 referred to it as) with their backroom deals, underhanded tricks and military force when needed. A good example would have been when they used Al Qaeda (still our enemy in this narrative) as they went sector to sector in the Yugoslavia war-zone region, throughout the 1990’s, which they had helped to instigate in 1991 (Iran is still representing our actual actions, AND ally of Al Qaeda in this line) [we seemed to have used Al Qaeda in the Balkan’s in the late 90’s].

Finally, they would have secured the area to install their pipeline connecting to our nearby Caspian Sea (assuming our nation had the best access to it like in Iran’s case). We would have gotten an extra sense of patriotism on our 1st of February Day of Independence national holiday knowing that they would much rather enjoy our beach front real estate for their pipeline beyond their age old desire to control our nations physical resources. Nevertheless, we’d probably found their Afghanistan pipeline interests (to connect to the Caspian Sea) interesting since the Caspian Sea holds some 47 billion barrels of oil and 257 trillion cubic feet of natural gas.

Soon thereafter, the world would have watched them get attacked on September 11th. In the months following, their president would declare US as being part of the “Axis of Evil”. He would later refer to the war as a “crusade” and as “World War 3”.

In the months following, Iran then rather justifiably invaded Mexico, ‘to get’ “Osama” (Usama), but then in a fit of imperialism marched into Canada. Next they began a propaganda war not only in the world press, but even more so in their own country.

We’d probably be too shielded and busy to note how the Iranians don’t seem to mind that propaganda is psychological warfare even when their own government is using it against them to justify wars, but other societies probably would. We’re too busy sucking up all of our nations propaganda since both sides are using against their own people. But at the end of the day the best way to view it is who’s propaganda is more honest. In our case it would be to rally us in preparation of the imperial machine that has our country surrounded.

To them, their foaming at the mouth would be justified because we took their intelligence wing embassy as “hostages” after liberating them from enslaving our nation. For some strange reason they don’t seem to understand how their imperialism is no different than any of histories other empires when you stack the bodies.


The domination of the Caspian-region dreams of the ultra(neo)conservative political faction ‘The Project for a New Iranian Century‘ that has been holding the reign’s of the nation were about to come into their firm grip. All they need is for us “to attack them” to swing their public opinion and give their overlords the green light to march their empire into the final stronghold in the ‘oil rich kingdom’ of the world ‘North America‘.

In all fairness, it’s not like our hypothetical leadership is helping by making outlandish comments and claims while even allowing the state-run news sites convey poor translations of such. Our leadership is also ballsy in choosing to break OPEC standards and switch from trading oil in the Iranian Dollar to the Euro. Canadian Saddam performed the exact same stunt during Iran’s contested 2000 election and got himself hung.

It’s important not to disturb Iran’sDollar Hegemony” because there isn’t any gold backing their Dollar. Its value is artificial because the world has to trade in Iranian Dollars to purchase oil. It’s why their country needs national debt and income taxes, yet for some odd reason nobody knows about it. They (many of them anyways) assume that the wars are simply for securing the oil, but it goes even deeper to maintain Iranian Dollar Hegemony. They need the national debt and inflation to pay for the wars that are required to maintain their busted ass system.

Anyways, all is well here, for now, in the land of the “free” ‘Totalitarian Christo-Fascists‘. Those “Totalitarian Islamo-Fascists” have another thing coming if they think they’re going to take US down!


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